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2012.05.18  –  Stupid As Charged

Bardus est ut Bardus Does

This week’s “Stupid As Charged” consists of four stories which all share the theme of stupid, dumb, strange, weird, or in some other way are worthy of a dunce cap rating. In particular this episode; being sure to use all applicable discounts with that stolen credit card,  how not to use a motion detecting camera, a coffee bandit,  and, what no more fish?

Make Sure to get Your Discount!

Price Chopper

This story from Record Talespin led me back to The Saratogian forces one to decide if the action was one of consideration or mere stupidity.  It seems a Spa City man, Garett McNutty, age 24, was attempting to use a stolen credit card.  He, perhaps out of consideration for his victim, also attempted to use his “Price Choppers” card to receive his discount.

The stupid rears up strong about here… The thing that foiled his plan was that the “Price Choppers” card was in his own name and not the name of the individual on the credit card.  He has been charged with possession of stolen property and identity theft…

We thought that Master Charge by Albert Collins (also at Mevio) would be a good tune to end this story with.  The frugal fraudster managed to rate an average of 4.5 caps

 

 Is it really all you can eat?

From:Tmj4

 

fish & chips

fish & chips (Photo credit: David Ascher)

A 6’6″ and 350 lbs, one man puts a restaurants all you can eat menu to the test after he ate a dozen pieces of fish they cut him off no more fish Bill Wisth admits he’s a big guy who can pack it away more than most but he says it was false advertising, he called the cops on the local restaurant when they couldn’t give him more fish because they were running out they finally gave him 8 more pieces of fish and sent him on his way but that wasn’t enough He came back two days later with a picket sign and says he will picket every Sunday until they rethink what happened but this is the kicker of the story the restaurant says they’ve tried to work with Bill over the years — like letting him have a tab he still hasn’t paid off.and quoting Bill Wisth

“They do have like some of the best pizza in town if you like deep dish pizza,”

Food Belongs in Me by Nuclear Bubble Wrap (featuring Johnna Day) seems perfect for this story.  The compulsive crook dunced in with a solid 4.0 average.

 

 Roll on Camera One

A pocket-sized digital camera made by Oregon S...

A pocket-sized digital camera made by Oregon Scientific (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

from Record TaleSpin

Thomas McMartin is a former supervisor of heating and cooling at Robison Pool , and he must have been a very lonely man. Mr. McMartin helped calm his um…..urges by hiding a motion sensing camera in the ceiling of the women’s locker room for a better look at what exactly happens in a women’s locker room. The only problem is Mr. McMartin failed to remember that the camera was on as he installed it into the ceiling. This made the work of the police just that much easier though because it was either 1 of the naked and undressing women on the film that planted it, or Mr. McMartin who managed to get his picture taken as he installed the camera.

Due to this thug’s cranial cavity location, we thought Camera up Uranus by Robert Ziino was the best closing song choice.  The would be peeping tom came in at a 4 on the dunce-o-meter.

 

English: A photo of a cup of coffee. Esperanto...

English: A photo of a cup of coffee. Esperanto: Taso de kafo. Français : Photo d'une tasse de caffé Español: Taza de café (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A Real, Live Coffee Bandit

A staff member from a nearby store told the Daily Mail: ‘Obviously it must have been terrifying for the shop assistant to be told to hand over the money, but some people round here have been joking as to whether the robber asked for milk and two sugars too.’

I’m not sure, maybe this one should be for dumb cops instead of dumb criminals. According to the post on metro.co.uk, local police are asking anyone who recognizes the men in question to please contact the police ASAP. However, when you look at the picture on the post, they only have one photo showing a man with his face completely covered and the other assailant completely out of sight. But the post clearly states:

Police are appealing for anyone who recognises either of the men to get in touch as soon as possible.

Yeah, I’ll do that. But, what exactly am I supposed to be looking for? A person with their face completely covered, wearing a coat. I’m pretty sure I can pull that look off if you just give me a minute. This one reminds me of an episode of The Shield where Dutch was after the “Coffee Bandit.” The criminal they were after would fill up a cup of hot coffee, go up to the register to pay, and as soon as they got the cash register opened, he would throw hot coffee in their face, snag the cash out of the register, and bolt out the door before the cashier could even regain their composure.

Do You Want Some Coffee Joe by Al Phlipp and The Woo Team  was the closer for this story.  The caffeinated criminal rated a 4.0!

Thanks for listening and we will all catch you next week!
Background music provided by Gavin Salkeld. Gavin is kind enough and with the new media order well enough to provide Indie Nation with all it’s background music for IDs, themes and promos. You can find out more about Gavin and his music at Salkeld Music.

The song “Stupid as Charged” is by Carrie Dahbny (also check out Bad Rapport) and Devo Spice (also at The FuMP) of The FuMP which is short for Funny Music Project. Also, many of the artists we feature on Indie Nation can be found at Mevio’s Music Alley.


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