2012.05.24 – Stupid As Charged

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2012.06.01-Stupid As Charged

Bardus est ut Bardus Does

This week’s “Stupid As Charged” consists of four stories which all share the theme of stupid, dumb, strange, weird, or in some other way are worthy of a dunce cap rating. In particular this episode; a drunk and his zebra, poison gas, and No Ticket the baby is coming!

A Drunk and His…. Zebra

Lumpy got word of this one via his local Fox News Channel, one of those headlines that makes you do a double take… like did I read that right?  The original headline read Man Charged with OVI, Had Zebra in Vehicle.  Yeah, I read it right.

An Iowa man has been arrested, charged with OVI and had his, pets taken to a friend’s house.  The police received a few call regarding a zebra and a parrot trapped in a car at, no surprise,  at a bar.  The article state that “quite a few people called”.  I bet that is a good thing since one might cross such a thing off as a hoax.

Nonetheless, it was no joke and when police arrived, they did see a zebra in a car and, perched on the driver’s shoulder, there actually was a parrot. Why is it I just can’t get the image of Raoul’s Wild Kingdom from Weird Al’s UHF out of my head?  Wildlife aside, the driver blew a .148 and was charged… oh yeah, his girlfriend stated “They love going for ride”.

This one averaged out to a 3.5 on our dunce-o-meter.

We closed this one out with Seven Drunken Nights by The Brobdingagain Bards.

 

Poison gas? Fuck it let’s just put T-Shirts over our face.

found at blogs.Browardpalmbeach.com

20-year-old Darrin Green and 17-year-old Jamarion Lee are either really brave, or really stupid. They decided it was in their best interest to burglarize a home that was being fumigated for termites.  The owner of the house pulled out his smartphone around 4am to check security cameras and was surprised to see two men holding T-Shirts over their faces rummaging through his belongings. He called the police, who couldn’t enter the house, you guessed it; because it was filled with deadly poison. The police called a fumigator to clear the house, however the men had already escaped.They were arrested after a tip led police to the men trying to sell the items they had stolen. Fort Lauderdale Police spokesman Det. Travis Mandell is quoted as saying: “What kind of person does that?”  “What kind of person risks their life for a couple of pieces of property, going into a house with ‘Danger! Do not enter! Poison!’ signs all over it?”

Though Mandell said the gas was “definitely not for human consumption,” the burglars didn’t show any signs of injury.

We really ranked this one pretty high.  It averaged out a 4.5.

We closed this story with, Poison of this Lifestyle by  Morphine Killer

Pregnant woman fakes labor, to avoid a ticket

This one comes from Huffington Post

It sounds like a scene in a movie, but a pregnant woman in New Zealand lied to police that she was about to give birth to get out of a speeding ticket.
Police were getting ready to lay spikes in the road to stop a Honda Civic speeding at more than 90 mph on a highway near Tauranga on Monday morning, according to the New Zealand Herald,
When the man driving eventually pulled over, he told police his friend was about to bring a new life into the world. She played the part, sitting with her feet spread apart on the dashboard, while the allegedly expectant father rode in the backseat, the Herald reported.
The police called for an ambulance and cordoned off the road as the paramedics arrived. Police later called the hospital to check in the patient, but discovered that that the pregnant woman discharged herself as soon as she arrived, reported the Oatgo Times Daily.
“I think she’s tried using her pregnancy to put a smokescreen to give some justification for the driver’s action. It’s not just a waste of our time but a waste of the time of St John ambulance staff helping people who really need their help,” Acting Senior Sergeant Mark Holmes told the paper.
Cops later busted the 23-year-old driver for dangerous driving.

This one metered in with unanimous 4s.

We closed out this story with Road Tripper by Carrie Dahlby w/Possible Oscar

 Man Arrested for Tampering at WalMart

It seems a man, according to a link over at Country California, sent into us by blackspyder from Geekshed.net, actually decided to enrich his communities’ musical taste by replacing hundreds of CDs at a local WalMart with his own personal collection.  The article is worth a read and the mug shot is worth a look.  Yup, that’s right… he replaced the enclosed CDs with his personal collection and ditched the contents elsewhere in the store.

This one hit 3.5 on the dunce-o-meter.

We closed with Ron Jay’s The Prettiest Girl in WalMart.

Background music provided by Gavin Salkeld. Gavin is kind enough and with the new media order well enough to provide Indie Nation with all it’s background music for IDs, themes and promos. You can find out more about Gavin and his music at Salkeld Music.

The song “Stupid as Charged” is by Carrie Dahbny (also check out Bad Rapport) and Devo Spice (also at The FuMP) of The FuMP which is short for Funny Music Project. Also, many of the artists we feature on Indie Nation can be found at Mevio’s Music Alley.


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5 thoughts on “2012.05.24 – Stupid As Charged

  1. Post: 2012.05.24 – Stupid As Charged http://t.co/sV57DHQr

  2. I wonder where "failing to recognize satire" ranks on the dunce-o-meter… http://t.co/etFFfY3a

  3. Andrew says:

    You might want to read the words in italics at the end of the Country California story: “Find more satirical articles in the Fake News archive.”

    You get a 5 on the dunce-o-meter.

  4. ks says:

    I wonder where "failing to recognize satire" ranks on the dunce-o-meter… http://t.co/etFFfY3a

  5. John D.Lemke says:

    2012.05.24 – Stupid As Charged – This week's "Stupid As Charged" consists of four stories which all share the theme … http://t.co/1ZMh244G

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